Thursday, December 6, 2012

Bad Movies

Legitimate reasons to love them

Bad movies exist in abundance. Even the best actors, directors and producers occasionally make bad judgment calls when choosing their projects. Even the wisest of us sometimes pay $12 to see what turns out to be a very crappy film. Of course, some movies are too terrible to have to sit through (Paris Hilton’s The Hottie and The Nottie, did anyone even watch that?), but some movies are actually kind of awesome in their awfulness. It embarrasses us to admit it, but sometimes our favorite movies are universally considered the worst movies. And it's okay. Here's why:

  1. First and foremost: Did you have fun watching the movie? If the answer’s yes and the movie is bad, who cares? Love it guiltlessly and unconditionally.
  2. They remind you of your childhood.  George of the Jungle (1997) is not a good movie, but it’s got a narrator that interacts with the characters, a very young (and very good-looking) Brendan Fraser, an ape that talks, San Francisco as a backdrop, and a very catchy theme song. What’s not to love? Also, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995). What gems!
  3. You’re a hipster. If you like a movie ironically people will probably think you’re cool. Or disdainfully call you a hipster. But if they think you’re just being pretentious, man, they just don’t get it.
  4. It’s delightfully awful. We all love to criticize things and if you find a movie that’s entertaining and easy to criticize, by all means, enjoy it. The Paranormal Activity movies, anyone? Pretty much any scary movie, anyone?
  5. It’s sexy. Um, Magic Mike (2012)? I don’t care how bad it was. It’s got half naked men dancing sexy dances. Sign me up for an encore (that excludes all the dramatic elements and shows only shirtless men)!
  6. It stars your favorite actor/actress. Secret Window (2004), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Dark Shadows (2012), Alice in Wonderland (2010). None of these movies were particularly good, but Johnny Depp is in them. I tolerated a couple of them. I loved the others.
  7. It’s your favorite genre. I love romantic comedies. I love them so very very much. I will watch any and all romantic comedies and with few exceptions (2010's Valentine’s Day, and Katherine Heigl’s Killers, ugh) I’m always smitten. Horror films, action films, romance dramas, gross-out comedies, or whatever you may be into, be into them and be proud to be into them. You can always watch them alone if you need to.
  8. It makes you laugh. Or cry. Or scream in fright. If a movie is bad and manages to provoke emotion in you or helps you though a hard period of your life, or a long, difficult day at the office, or maybe even reminds you of that one time you were happy, go ahead and admit you liked it. Your judgment might have been marred by external events but who’s going to care about that but you? So go ahead, watch The Vow (2012) for the eleventileventh time. Or that Jean Claude Van Damme one where he beats the crap out of everybody. 
  9. It’s so bad it’s good. White Chicks (2004) comes to mind. It’s horrible, but it’s got somewhat of a cult following on the interwebs. And oh so many quotable moments. “It’s Tina the talking tummy!!”. 
  10. What are you, a film critic? You don’t have to catalog a movie as good or bad, you’re only there to like or hate it. If we all liked the same things, the earth would be a very boring, very happy place. No fun in that. 
You don't have to tell everyone you meet that your favorite movie  is Waterworld (1995), but as long as you don't argue that it should have won an Oscar, you're fine. Your taste will not be compromised if you enjoy a couple of bad films every now and then. Just be sure to watch good films as well. You don't want to joke your way into perpetual tackiness now, do you? 

This has been a Fatiluzer rant. Sayonara!

Special thanks to Andrea. 

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